I didn’t think there was anything worse than a puking kid, but a kid who needs to puke and is desperately trying not to? That might be the hardest parenting-a-sick-kid hurdle. You know they’re in pain, you know they don’t want to throw up, but you also know that there is nothing they can do — if their body wants to puke, it’s going to puke. And trying to keep a kid who’s afraid of throwing up calm enough to, you know, actually puke and get it over with is a lot.
So, what do you do if you have a kid who refuses to throw up? How do you recognize their need for control while also explaining that they have zero control over this situation?
Why is my child afraid to throw up?
It’s one thing to not want to throw up (we’ve all been there), but to feel actual fear over the very idea of vomiting? That’s a different beast. The thing is, kids need to puke for all kinds of reasons — tummy bugs, food poisoning, gagging on a meal, coughing too hard — and depending on the situation, it might make them more fearful of ever puking in a scenario like that again. “It’s common for children to have a fear of vomiting,” Sara Siddiqui, MD, FAAP, assistant clinical professor at Hassenfeld Children’s Hospital, tells Scary Mommy.
But she says a child’s fear of vomiting becomes an issue when it interferes with their ability to attend school or participate in activities they normally enjoy. “I have also seen patients with such a fear of vomiting that they refuse to eat, or eat a very limited variety of foods,” Siddiqui adds. So if your kid’s fear of throwing up just comes up when they actually need to throw up, it’s probably nothing to worry about.
How can I help my child when they’re afraid to throw up?
I would label the conversation of convincing my 10-year-old that she couldn’t “hold in” her vomit and would have to just let it out as one of the most frustrating I’ve ever had. No amount of information I gave her about vomiting, why our bodies do it, and how our bodies work helped — and Siddiqui gets it. She suggests that, in the moment, you should just make sure your child is comforted and staying hydrated. When they’re feeling better, you can open up a conversation about vomiting and how it is a “sign the stomach can not tolerate certain foods or drinks for a short amount of time.” If your child’s feeling weak or dehydrated after an illness that includes vomiting, contact your healthcare provider.
In my 10 years of experience, I’ve also found that giving your child their own puke vessel — whether it’s a small bathroom trash can or one of those airplane sickness bags — can help alleviate their fears a bit. They don’t have to worry about running to the toilet or getting down on the floor to puke.
You can also talk to your child about why they’re afraid to throw up. Maybe the last time they did, it got on their hands and that gave them the ick. Or maybe they hit their head on the toilet bowl while straining. It might be beyond just the yuckiness that is puking, and talking them through their fears and how to make it somewhat better can help.
What happens if your child doesn’t vomit?
“It’s best to allow the stomach to release its contents during an episode of gastroenteritis and food poisoning,” Siddiqui says. Holding in the vomit means your kid will start producing all of that saliva and try to swallow it down, but “it is extremely difficult to stop” a vomiting episode.
Is there a “right” way to vomit? How can I care for my kid after they’ve vomited?
If your kid’s afraid of throwing up, making sure they have the best possible experience with it — I mean, we are talking about vomiting here — seems helpful. But Siddiqui says there isn’t really a proper way to puke, “except to prevent aspiration or blocking of the airway during a vomiting episode.” She recommends making sure your child has adequate room and no obstructions to their mouth and nose area. “Washcloths to the face and back of the neck may help keep them calm, as well as keeping the area clean and dry.”
After your child’s vomited, let them rest and rinse their mouth and face with cool water. “It’s best to wait 15 to 20 minutes after an episode before offering a lot to drink, and small sips of water or diluted clear juice will help as well,” Siddiqui says. She recommends avoiding carbonated beverages and drinking clear, flat drinks. You should also give your child a few hours of tolerating fluids before introducing a bland diet — but avoid dairy. Above all, if your child’s vomiting is severe or prolonged, it’s best to call your pediatrician to get your child checked out.
